We’ve all heard the stories before. You get married, then you enjoy so much intimacy during the first few months or years. Eventually, the kids come and life starts to get in the way. One day, you wake up, unable to remember when you last had sex.
Although this situation may seem normal to a lot of married couples, others feel that this should not be the case.
A Common Struggle
The National Opinion Research Center reports that American couples have sex 66 times a year on an average. Out of all the couples who took part of the survey, 15% to 20% only have sex less than 10 times a year.
What are the reasons behind this drop in the occurrence of sex?
- Advancing age
- Pressures of work
- Growing family
- Responsibilities at home
With all the pressing concerns that any normal adult goes through on a regular basis, a lot of couples end up not having enough time and energy to have sex with their spouse.
What Sex Brings Into The Marriage
Knowing that there’s just so much to juggle, is it really worth it to veer away from the norm and start having sex more regularly just as other couples are starting to do it less often? What benefits do you get out of sex and how can these benefits contribute to your marriage?
1. It puts people in a better mood.
Sex triggers the release of endorphins and other hormones that give you a natural kind of high. This is why people are often in a better mood after sex – it’s not just the love or the passion – it’s science.
2. It boosts self-confidence.
You may be one of the many women or men that say that as the marriage goes on, you feel less prettier or less handsome, and you may eventually feel a sense of shame about your body, thinking that you are not desirable anymore. Through frequent sex, both you and your spouse can feel better about yourselves. It renews that spark that you had when you first got together – that feeling thats in your partner’s eyes, nobody can be as beautiful or as desirable.
3. It helps improve the immune system.
People who have sex more often have higher levels of immunoglobulin A, which is an antibody that keeps you safe from colds, the flu, and other similar illnesses. Of course, the less sick you are the better you also feel.
4. It is a great form of exercise.
You may spend hours at the gym just to amp up your cardio, but did you know that sex is practically the best cardio you can get? Sex can burn up to 250 calories, and the more action and movement involved, the more calories you also burn.
Your back, your abs, your butt, your thighs – all these and more could get the sculpting you’ve been hoping to achieve at the gym, right in your very bedroom.
5. It gives you a youthful glow.
Some call it an ‘after-sex glow’, something that is definitely not made up. Because of the release of estrogen and testosterone in the body each time you have sex, you can actually look younger than you really are. As you probably know, both of these hormones naturally occur in the body.
The older you get, the less they are produced. Constant sex is just the recipe that would make these hormones thrive in your system and make you look and feel younger once again.
6. It lessens your stress levels.
You may feel that you are too stressed out to have sex, but the truth is, the more stressed you are, the more you need sex as well. Sex gives you the same effect as the comfort food you binge on when you’re stressed, like chocolates or cake. It activates the pleasure pathways in your brain, making the stress go away.
7. It helps you sleep better.
Just as the endorphins released during sex helps you de-stress, it also preps you up for a better sleep. Prolactin is a hormone that is usually released during sleep, but scientists find that its levels also increase when people have orgasms.
As long as you keep the activity subdued, it should lull you straight to sleep after.
These are just some of the benefits that peoples get from sex, and the list actually goes far longer than that. But what does this have to do with the relationship between couples?
Jumping Out Of The Cycle
More often than not, it’s not the lack of sex that drives two people apart – it’s the stress of everyday life. You get tired from work, you feel like your list of chores never ends, and you cave in to life’s daily demands.
Unfortunately, this does not just affect you – it also affects the way you treat your partner.
The person who gets the brunt of things is often the person you live with, in this case, your husband or wife. Mix two people who have a mountain of problems to endure and you feel the gap between the two of you widen.
Sex lessens your stress, makes you happier, makes you more confident, and makes you healthier. And when you have two people who are emotionally, mentally and physically fit, you also have two people who will treat each other better.
The fact that you take part of the process together makes it even better, making your bond stronger.
What does it take for a couple to break out of their regular cycle and jump into a life where sex is not just an afterthought when you have extra time?
For as long as both people in the relationship are willing to understand the benefits that sex can have on your marriage, you can also have a deeper commitment to make things happen. Your to-do list will never get shorter. Your boss will never become less demanding.
Your kids are always going to run around. Don’t use these as an excuse not to have sex. Instead, make these your excuse to have more frequent sessions and you’ll find that all these other things become easier to handle.